I'm Afraid
Whit Whitman
Lyrics
Verse 1I came home from work feeling a little bit frisky
Slapped my wife's ass and asked if she missed me
Kissed her neck when the kids weren't looking
But she didn't react and just kept cooking
After the kids got tucked in bed
Let's fool around is what I said
She said no, for the umpteenth time
So I took all my money and said that's fine
Chorus
No sex means no bills get paid.
Shit don’t turn on till I get laid.
It ain’t blackmail, it’s how we’re made.
Now I’m in the dark, and I’m afraid.
Verse 2
Set up the camper in our backyard
Life gets rough when life gets hard
Now she's cooking on our gas grill
Washing clothes in the creek until I pay the bill
I do my job now you do yours
If it will help, got a cooler of Coors
When I got married I had nothing to fear
But I expected sex more than twice a year
Chorus
No sex means no bills get paid.
Shit don’t turn on till I get laid.
It ain’t blackmail, it’s how we’re made.
Now I’m in the dark, and I’m afraid.
Bridge
I want you
You want me
to turn on the
electrisity
I'm your man
and your my wife
best 2 damn minutes
of your life
Final Chorus (clap & Stomp)
No sex means no bills get paid.
Shit don’t turn on till I get laid.
It ain’t blackmail, it’s how we’re made.
Now I’m in the dark and I’m afraid.
[spoken]
Sex aint what?
Transitional?
Is that even a word?
Whys this food tase funny?
Well i dont feel well
So your off the hook tonight
No, i dont want thirds
I;m afraid
very afraid
[fade]